Inner Peace part 1
In my early days, I made two discoveries.
I discovered that making money was easy. And I discovered that making money and spending it foolishly was easier, completely meaningless and painful.
I felt empty, wasted, starved, unsatisfied.
I craved substance, meaning, but I was craving a different form of success, I cried out for a form of completeness, which I could not grasp in my greedy slippery hands (well I did not know this just yet), but i knew a truth *I was not here to be wasteful, not here to be wasted or to waste the lives of my loved ones. I didn't quite know what I wanted or needed just yet...
So I wrapped myself in my mental blankets, and embrace Silence.
It was in silence that I started pondering, seeking for more depth, the depth of my own infinite edges... I was searching for Essence, Concreteness.
What am I, Who am I, What do I need, What am I craving, how do I quench this emptiness...What is my Purpose.
Traveling around the world and back, Witnessing the curious, the pious, the profane, the funny, the sad, the different, the same, the strange. I walked, ran, sat, paced, rested, experimented, prayed, opened my rapidly blinking inner eyes to glimpse what I felt and knew was missing in my life...life was going by me with me seating on the sidelines of it.
A deep silence finally came over me, embraced and grabbed hold of me, comforting...
Slowly a clarity peaked, a Voice started emerging from the cave of my inner world and with faith I fell....i was a seeker!!! seeking for a meaningful way of living, breathing.
Stopping my movements, my outside noises, I walked inside my Selves, through the woods of my consciousness, a wild Forest, I finally came from the other side to what I know now to be my Awakening.
I felt a complete willingness to trust, to surrender to what is, to give in to my life, and finally to dedicate my life to Service. An easy task, that I daily fight for.
The road to inner peace is a step by step daily reminder that to surrender is to let myself be weaved into the fabric of the Beauty: Life.
As I let go, I let God, as I surrender, I Let Me....